Don’t Date the Life of the Party; Date the Person Who Makes Sure That the Life of the Party Gets Home

2016 was my first year of heartbreak; multiple heartbreaks to be truthful. Anyone who has been through that heartbreak knows how there is rarely a feeling so soul crushing. A lot of times, that soul crushing feeling leads us to mistakes, and for me that was jumping back into love far too soon.

In our college years, we see the guy who throws the party. He’s charming, he’s cute, and he’s fun. So of course, your young heart goes out to him. A large majority of the time, this is the boy who will hurt you. He will say he is “not ready for commitment” and we all know what that means.

I think that in college we all want to “just have fun” and “be young”. There is nothing wrong with that, until you give your heart away and become vulnerable. When you leave the realm of building a strong friendship and being intimately vulnerable with another, you are ignoring what God has told us. Proverbs 4:23 puts it nicely.

            “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it”.

Our heart and our love is so sacred. As I stated in a previous post, you must develop a relationship with God, and one with yourself, before you have reached a level of maturity to give your heart away.

I know this next concept may terrify the average 20 something year old, and frankly it scares the life out of me. The true meaning of any worthwhile relationship is to find someone you want to build a marriage and a life around. I am in no way ready for that idea, however I’ve also accepted that maybe that guy hasn’t come into my life yet.

There are a lot of boys in college who will approach you in their intoxicated state, wanting a fun night. There will be few men who want to get to know your true heart and build a relationship not only with you, but also with God. They will be few and harder to find, and you may find them in a friend at first, but taking time and being patient shows God that you truly understand that he is saving someone oh so special for you.

That intoxicated boy may be fun for a while, but he will chip away at pieces of you. He will make you question your beliefs and in the end he will feel as a waste of time.

Instead we should protect our hearts, and keep searching with the hope of God placing that man in our life who wants to learn your soul. He’s out there and he’s wonderful. It becomes difficult when you are single to keep this hope. Since the time I was 17 I have jumped from serious relationship to the next, but I have now been single for a few months. I know the fear that you feel alone, so you go to the guy who will provide temporary bliss. But instead, go to God, go to prayer, go to those friends that have been placed in your life, go to a night in by yourself watching a movie with a glass of wine, but don’t go to the boy who always lets you down.

The life of the party may be fun for a night. The boy who makes sure that the life of any party, you, gets home safe. Here’s a point I often make: I am not a perfect Christian. I believe surely, but I struggle. I don’t have a blog to preach to anyone, I simply find scripture a calming force in the anxiety of dating. So believe what you will, but take this scripture in stride, that protecting your heart is among one of our most important things. I haven’t met the man who I feel is going to be the one who makes sure I get home safe, but I’m waiting for him, that’s for sure, but in the meantime, I learn more about myself everyday.



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